Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Dear Universe, this is my love list.
From everything I have read, and every successful person in my life, it is my understanding that when we want something, we are supposed to be clear, and ask for it. The world needs more of its inhabitants to concentrate their energies on cultivating positive people and positive experiences, to enrich our lives. I made this list almost 2 years ago, and have changed immeasurably since then, so I am updating it, adding to it, and modifying it as honestly as I possibly can. After all, I deserve all of this in my life. You already know how lucky that man will be when he finds me...
- A man who will continue proving to me, long after he has wooed me, that chivalry is not dead.
- I would like someone who can occasionally still party like a rock star, but who is also content relaxing at home.
- A man who will pay attention to things I like, and surprise me from time to time.
- Men who read are s-e-x-y. 'Nuff said.
- Balance and moderation. He will believe in, and practice, both.
- If food, sex, beer and sex be the way to his heart; purses, sex, food and water may just be the way to mine.
- I'd like him to be okay with me taking care of his feet and hands in the form of standard manscaping. If he were to occasionally rub my feet in return, that would be fantastic.
- The man who paints my toenails for me, will forever reap the rewards of that service.
- Overall oral and physical hygiene is appreciated greatly.
- He will need to be open to discussing the possibility that I may someday, after we have built our foundation, want to revisit the term 'monogamous' and redefine it to meet our needs.
- I am very good at compromise, so please don't let it be his way, or the highway.
- I want a hard working man who has goals - no matter if they are solely personal goals - who isn't just going to coast through the rest of his life doing as little as possible to get by.
- He will try new things, and be open to growth and change and bettering himself. A man who learns from his mistakes, too...
- If this man has kids of his own already, he will be the kind of man to take that role seriously and step up to the plate to take care of his kids - and not just with money. That is way too easy. And I don't think it's okay to speak poorly about the mother of his children, regardless of how things ended.
- He will be open to having children of our own - should we agree to explore that path. Which we may not. And that is okay, too.
- In the beginning, he will need to communicate clearly to me that he likes me, and that he wants to get to know me better...I may otherwise never pick that up. I need to know where I stand.
- I have always wanted the man I am with to really love and appreciate how I am with kids. I would like to think it is one of my better qualities.
- I want a man who will do the "blue" jobs around the house and take care of those things for me. You know...oil changes, garbage, cleaning off my car in the winter, and home renovations. In turn, I will happily take care of the "pink" jobs...like keeping the house clean, cooking, groceries, etc... But we will work well together, too...like a team.
- I want a man who is affectionate and loving. I want (and need) to hold hands, hug, kiss and cuddle frequently. Put my head on his chest, and read a book or watch tv, and cuddle while we lay in bed a bit longer on Sunday mornings. Frequent sex is very important to me as well.
- Speaking of sex. I don't want a man who is overly kinky or 'weird'... but he would have to be creative, spontaneous, and sometimes take control. He will need to initiate, touch, grab, kiss, bite, venture outside the "norm" on occasion, and communicate his needs clearly to me. We will work together to keep it spicy and interesting.
- I want a man who genuinely loves me, and doesn't take me for granted, or forget why he is lucky to have me in his life.
- I want a nice life, with a warm home, good friends, and a couple of trips a year. All inclusive trips, backpacking type trips, and someday...I want to go to Greece and Italy. I feel it is my destiny to go there someday! And Jamaica, too!
- I want someone honest. Liars, players, and cheaters can go find someone else to play with.
- I want a man who I feel safe with. Considering my history, I think it's more than fair for me to have some valid trust issues with men. I am working on it, and it has gotten much better, but feeling safe is something I strive for.
- In order for the above statement to become a reality, I feel that I need a patient and understanding man. Someone who is able to empathize with me, and figure out the things that make me tick. A man who doesn't push me for too much too soon - because that doesn't work for me.
- I want a man who has his own friends, and goes out with them. Maybe he plays on a rec hockey team, or soccer team...but having his own hobbies and interests is hugely important, because I cannot feel like I am solely responsible for his free time, and his entertainment. I plan to maintain my friendships, and still have Girls Nights, shopping dates, pedicure dates, and chick flick dates. We are two individuals in a relationship.
- I want my friends to like him. Really like him.
- I want his friends to like me. Really like me.
- I want to have fun, and laugh, and talk - or not talk, and still have fun together sitting in silence. I want to watch movies on a big screen tv in our "theatre room", and have friends over for bbq's, and visit with family from time to time - but not all the time. I want to listen to music, go to the occasional concert/movie and have a designated date night.
- What a wonderful life it would be to find someone who let me be myself, but was still able to inspire and support me to be a better version of myself. I would like to find someone who wants that kind of woman, and who can be that kind of man.
- I don't know if you know this about me, but as much as I try to let it go, I am a planner. I often know weeks in advance what my social activities will be for the next month. And at the same time, I absolutely LOVE to throw caution to the wind, take off in the car or on a plane and just go have a time - without the day planner. To find someone who could bring that out in me a bit more, would be awesome.
- The man I love would need to be happy, relaxed and positive about life, and share that enthusiasm with the people around him. Just like I do.
- And since I am trying to be a healthier version of me, I would like to find someone who isn't opposed to lean meats, fruits and salads. And someone who loves me as I am now, but supports me becoming a better version of myself, without being a meanie-pants about it. And someone who will also go for hikes with me, or rent a kayak, or go for a bike ride. If he isn't running beside me in a race? I'd like him to come cheer me on, and have snacks for when I'm done.
- I want to find someone who wants to grow old with me - Jennifer Bennett, not just any warm body - beside him.
- And lastly, if we were to get married, I would want something simple, but nice. Backyard, or destination beach type wedding - with a reasonable price limit. I'm not that fancy...
That about sums it up. I think. For now, anyways.
Christ, that was a long list. I suppose I could have done it by simply listing things like: honest. fun. hard working. reliable. trustworthy. goal oriented... but where is the fun in that, eh? And you will kindly notice that there isn't one single shallow quality on that list. It isn't about height, weight, hair colour... Not when you are looking for it from a place of confidence, security, peace and love.
I hope that you have your own love list - fulfilled already, or composed and waiting. And I hope that you are having an awesome day!