SETbacks are NOT the same as STEPbacks.

I blogged about just over a month ago, but I'm here to rant about the fact that my back is still shagged up. How exactly? I'm not sure. When exactly? I don't know that either.
What I do know, is that I was trucking along just fine until this happened. And I also know that I have been doing my damnedest to correct this issue since then, and my body is still not working properly. I've done the standard chiropractor and massage therapy appointments which have helped, but not fixed the issue, and so my next step is acupuncture and physiotherapy. There is a first time for everything, after all....


Currently, I can't run, I can only do some altered weight resistance training, and I have spent an awful lot of time laying on heating pads and tennis balls this last month.


Here is the thing though. This whole weight loss journey has seen me face social obstacles, financial stress, upsets with friends, work aggravations, house sales, condo purchases, and an assortment of other issues that are just like those that everyone faces on a daily basis.


What I haven't had to deal with yet, has been physical setbacks. An actual injury - which is VERY different than after workout muscle soreness. And it is out of my control. I have moderate control over all those other life trials and tribulations, or certainly how I let them affect me. But this? This is out of my control.


I have learned a lot about my body this past year, and I am learning to listen to it - rest it when it's tired, feed it when it's hungry. Heal it when it's broken? I need help for that. *sigh* Because I cannot do it alone.


And not only do I need help for the healing, I need help with my emotions for this one. I have 2 of my best girlfriends who I have just recently unloaded to about this, and here is what one of them had to say:


Can I be honest? (of course I can... )


Just because you're feeling this way, doesn't mean that you're not a positive person. I know that you strive your hardest to be positive and to be a positive influence on those around you, but we all have our bad days/weeks. In the time I've known you, I don't think I've ever seen you crack. You're always smiling, trying to find the positive, and being strong. It's OK to think the world sucks sometimes. because sometimes, it DOES! you're only human.


You're hurt by your co-worker's words. You're frustrated because you're in pain, and it's holding you back from being as active as you want to be.


Can you tell me how much you gained? Even if you don't...I'm sure it's not a big number. Think of the percentage in relation to how much you've lost... Is it really that significant? I know it's a constant struggle, and I know that you're working your ass off to lose, and it's a slap in the face when you don't, even worse when you gain. I am not nearly as committed as you, so I don't feel it as badly, but if I worked and was as loyal to the plan as you are, I would be pissed off too. BUT... it's one week. not the end of the world. It's not like you've suddenly gained back the 100+ pounds you lost! When you get your back better, you will be able to go back to the exercise regime you were used to, and your results will show for it.


I guess what I'm getting to is don't be so hard on yourself. You're human. You're allowed to feel. You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to be frustrated. You're allowed to cry. No one will think of you any less. It doesn't mean you're weak, it doesn't mean that you're not positive, it doesn't mean you're an Eeyore. You're human.


Well, she hit the proverbial nail on the head right there. A huge part of the emotional struggle I am going through right now, is that I have such a hard time asking for help when I need it most, or unloading on my friends. I've been essentially taking care of myself since I was about.....ummmmmmm......8. So it stands to reason why I am so self-sufficient, stubborn, and independent.


I can easily ask for help to move, or build a shed...but asking for help when I am down and out? When I feel guilty/or weak for being down and out? THAT is brutally difficult.


Last night, after I went to Weight Watchers to be told that I had gained again this week, I talked to my friend, and then left. I couldn't even find the strength to stick around for the meeting when I was feeling so crummy about myself and my situation. I wasn't fit to look at, let alone talk to. And I keep covering it up, because to be anything other than cheery, zen, and strong, feels weak to me.


And so I allowed myself one more night of feeling that way, and I have given myself permission to rant it out here, and then it's done. I will work to correct this, and change my thinking - this is not the end of the world. It is not the end of my weight loss journey. I am not done fighting, healing, fixing, feeling my way through all of this.


And whatever else comes my way.

I have a goal. And I will get there. And so will you. Whatever we want in life, we can have it if we work hard enough.

I hope that you are having an awesome day!

Questionnaire From CalorieCount.com...

I subscribe to a website called CalorieCount.com. And they will often send out inspirational stories from members of their site who have successfully lost weight. I like the questionnaire format they use, so I am answering them here.


1. What made you decide to lose weight this time?
Well, I already blogged about my "wake-up" moment, but essentially, I started doing this because I was tired and sick. And sick of feeling tired. My body ached, I was winded and unable to enjoy spectacular vacation destinations because I was so out of shape. I am always telling people to live their best lives, and I wasn't living mine. When I finally realized that, the hypocrisy was suffocating to me.


2. What other "diets" (programs, products, plans, or services) had you tried in the past?
Many years ago, I tried Weight Watchers, and I also joined a gym maybe 7 or 8 years ago. I had success both times, but I never addressed the reasons why food was my crutch in the first place. So I ultimately gained all that weight back. And more, as is usually the case with most people.


3. What changes did you make to your usual diet, activity, lifestyle, and attitude?
This time around!? I did so many things differently. I started slowly - first by making better food choices with proper portion sizes, and only once I had a good handle on that did I start working out. And when I started working out? I was very limited in my ability, so it was swimming and walking to start. And then I graduated on to more scary machines like the elliptical, the upright bike, weights and finally, I started running.
I also enlisted the help of trained professionals, amazing friends, many websites, a psychologist and a life coach. I sought out information and advice every chance I could get.


4. How did Calorie Count help you to lose weight?
Calorie counting is not something I had ever done before, and while the base system I have been using all along is Weight Watchers, I also started counting calories. It's simple math, really. Calories out - calories in. Strive for a deficit everyday. It might take time, but you will see the numbers move. If you don't have a gadget you can wear to count your calories out, check out this link and do the math yourself:  http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/


5. What was most challenging about losing weight?
The most difficult part about this journey was (and sometimes still is) overcoming my own fears, doubts, and negative self-talk. I wasn't sure I would be able to do this at all, then I wasn't sure I would ever reach my first 100lb goal, then I wasn't sure I would be able to run 5km. And for a long time, I wasn't able to remove all the ugly thoughts I had about myself from the running dialogue I had going in my head. "You're fat. You're ugly. Nobody will ever love you if you're fat. You're disgusting. Those people are watching you eat, think that you're gross."
I still struggle with doubt about my own ability. I want to run 10km in May 2011. And Trainer Mike keeps telling me that at next years Army Run, I will be doing a half marathon. I say "someday". He says "Next year". It makes me laugh uncontrollably.
6. How long did it take you to see results?
My digestion started to feel better almost right away. Which is scary, because it shows how badly I was eating before. I haven't had to take antacids since I started this journey.
As for how long before I was able to see with my own two eyes what everyone else was seeing? That took a long time. Close to 9 months, and maybe around 85 pounds before I finally looked in the mirror and stopped seeing the "fat girl" and started to see a more curvy girl.


7. When did you realize that you were a success?
The night I hosted my Pants Burning Party on my 1 year anniversary - August 13th, 2009 - surrounded by people who I love, and able to officially say that I had lost 101 pounds in 1 year. I made sure to visit Weight Watchers the night before, and my doctor on the day of that party to verify the results. I knew then that I could stake my claim on that announcement, knowing that it isn't something too many people have achieved by doing things the old fashioned way anymore.


8. How do you prevent relapse?
This is a hard one to answer. I really feel like I have adopted this new lifestyle into my DNA, and there really is no going back. Unlike a recovering alcoholic who just cuts out alcohol for the rest of their lives because our bodies don't require it in order to function, I need food to sustain myself and exist. I believe that I will always have to be mindful of what I eat, when I eat it, and why I am eating it. So I live by the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time I make better choices, eat smaller portions, and move my ass whenever I can. 20% of the time, I relax a little bit...but not too much. I also look at old pictures of myself, and I remember what it felt like to carry that extra weight around. And when I sometimes forget what that felt like? I will literally pick up two 50lb dumbbells and walk around with them.


9. How has your life changed now that you've lost weight?
Well, everything has changed. How I see myself has changed, feeling proud of myself for something is a new feeling for me, and how I see the world has changed as well. You can drive past the same thing everyday for a year and never really see it. Now try going past that same place on a bicycle, or on your own two feet and really look at it. Tell me your city doesn't look different to you now.
And while there is a chance that this could be my imagination, I feel like men are smiling at me more. And asking me out. That is a whole new thing for me, too.
Honestly, I'd be rich if I had a nickel for every time someone has said to me "You have such a pretty face" in my lifetime. And pretty or not, men never really asked me out. They wanted to sleep with me, and in some cases, they wanted to control me, but they never really asked me out, or wanted to get to know me.
I will admit here, that attention from men is one thing that scares me and can sometimes hold me back. But that's a whole other blog topic, I think...


10. What five tips do you have for other dieters?
Well, my top 12 tips are lined out in my blog post from last week... but if I had to pick 5 only, I would go with these:

1. Move your ass. Go for a walk. Get in the pool. Ride a bike. Do whatever you are able to do at first, and increase the intensity, variety and length of time as you become more able. If you have never run before, start out doing 1 minute runs, with 3 minute walks. Or maybe focus on just walking for awhile, before starting to run. Be patient with yourself and start slowly to avoid injury and the possibility of ever giving up.


2. Make yourself accountable to at least 1 person. Choose someone you trust, who loves you exactly as you are, and who ONLY has positive things to say, and good advice. If that person has knowledge to share with you, take it. And if they offer to work out with you, do that too.


3. Don't aim for 100% perfection when it comes to your food. Aim for 80/20 or 90/10. You have to allow yourself some treats, and some "real life" sometimes. Eat out with friends, but choose in advance, and choose wisely. Go and buy yourself a digital food scale to weigh and measure what you eat at home and eat the recommended portion size. Count out your chips, weigh your cheese, and measure your yogurt...put the rest away.


4. Sit down and really dig deep. Examine the reasons why you were turning to food for comfort and solace in the first place. Go find yourself a good therapist or life coach, or turn to a close and very honest friend to help you with this one. If you don't figure it out, the odds are stacked against you, and you will more than likely revert back to your old habits.


5. Take pictures of yourself along the way. We often have NO idea what we really look like, and no idea where we fit in, literally. So if you are not a poser like me who gets her picture taken all the time, stand in a doorway and take pictures from all angles. And use that same doorway to document your progress. As you start to see yourself the way others are seeing you, get dolled up in new clothes and have a friend take some beautiful new pictures for you to compare against the old you.


I hope that you are having an awesome day.

The Good Ole Days?

When I was home in Newfoundland recently, a large number of people asked me what my usual day is like these days. What sorts of foods do I eat? How is it different from how I used to eat? What is the big secret? How did I lose over 100 lbs in 1 year?

And that got me thinking...SO much has changed, and it's been SO long, that I can't really even remember what the old days were like... but I am going to try and lay one out for you, and compare it to now. Be prepared...this ain't pretty.

The old days went a little something like this:
7:00 a.m. - Wake up. Slowly. Arse around online a little bit. Get showered and ready for work.
Either 8:00 or 9:00 a.m. - Arrive at work. No breakfast eaten yet, and no plans to have any.
10:30 ish - Oh. My. God. I could eat the lamb of God right now. I'm starving. I don't want anything I brought with me to work. I think I will go to the cafe and buy a nice warm fresh baked cookie. Or 2. Yes, 2. And maybe a small bag of chips. Because that seems much more reasonable for breakfast.
12:00 or 1:00 - Lunch time. What do they have in the cafe today? Salads? Meh. Sandwiches? Maybe. Soup? Forget it. Hot dogs!?! YES! And let's have fries with that, please. With copious amounts of ketchup, too.
3:30-4:00 - Snack time! Hmmmmm....maybe a chocolate bar? Or maybe, if I am feeling like having something healthy-ish, I will have some pitas and hummus. No, a Mars bar and maybe some more chips sounds much better.
6:30 - Suppertime! After having debated about it with friends for the afternoon, we have decided to meet up at Kelsey's, East Side Mario's, Local Heroes, Boston Pizza, or any other number of fine establishments where I will likely have chicken wings, or maybe a burger and fries. Let's make those sweet potato fries though...and who knows how many diet pop I will drink. Cause you know...I have to watch what I eat to maintain this figure.
8:00 - I'm home now. I think I will lay down and watch tv for awhile. Maybe talk on the phone, or throw in a load of laundry if I'm all out of clean skivvies.
8:30 or 9:00 - if I am still a bit peckish after supper, I'd like a snack. How about some more potato chips? Maybe chips and salsa? Or microwave popcorn.
Midnight - wake up with raging heartburn and have to fumble around in the dark looking for my stash of Tums. Chew. Chew. Swallow. Relief.
Till morning.
I would bet that my average daily calorie intake back in the old days was somewhere averaging around 3000 - 3500. Especially if it was a day when I ate out with friends. Restaurants don't put nutritional information on the menu for a reason folks. It's frigging scary.

And if you compare the old days to now? The differences are astounding.

Granted, I don't always have the same start time for work, and there are always variances, but let's look at my ideal day:
5:00 a.m. - Rise and shine sleepy head! Hop in a quick shower, if I haven't showered the night before. Get ready for work.
5:50 a.m. - make myself a smoothie for breakfast. Here is what I do... take 1 whole banana, throw in 5 or 6 frozen strawberries, or maybe 1/2 a cup of frozen blueberries, with 1 cup of vanilla flavoured Silk Soy Milk, and 1 tablespoon of peanut butter. Blend. Drink. Yum. Keeps me satisfied for hours. And it's balanced. Carbs, protein, fat. All for about 300 calories.
6:00 - arrive at work. Continue sipping on my smoothie, which will usually take me almost a whole hour to complete. Super yummy!
10:00 - snack time. I try to get a little bit of everything each time I eat - let me repeat from above - that means I have protein, fat and complex carbs each time I eat. So my snacks consist of any combination of lean turkey, light cheese, fruit, veggies, maybe some trail mix, hard boiled eggs... (hint: boil up 6-8 eggs at a time. Put them in a bowl in the fridge and ready to take in your lunch bag.) My morning snack is usually around 300 calories as well.
12:00 - Lunch time! Hmmmmm....maybe some organic plain yogurt, mixed with 3 - 5 ounces of berries, and 45 grams of granola. Maybe an orange, or apple, or cucumber with vinegar on top. My ideal lunch is around 500 calories.
3:00 - snack time! Again!? Yes! My personal afternoon favourite is hummus with pitas and a piece of fruit. Or maybe pretzels with hummus, or carrots and hummus. But I definitely tend to have hummus once a day - usually in the afternoon. And this snack is typically around the 300 calorie mark.
4:00 - I am working out. I will either visit with Trainer Mike for an hour and do weight resistance training, or I will go for a run with friends or I will hit the gym with my iPod and do some time on the elliptical, the upright bike and/or the treadmill. My average workouts are between 45-60 minutes, and I aim for 5x a week.
6:00 - It's suppertime! I really enjoy chili with lean meat and loads of veggies, maybe with a sweet potato. Maybe a salad with chicken on top and a nice balsamic vinaigrette. Maybe some leftover pumpkin soup as donated to me by a friend, or maybe some tomato and black bean soup that I had made awhile back and froze. My ideal supper is around 500 calories.
I won't even add a snack here, because this past year I have found that less and less I feel the need for an evening snack. If I absolutely felt like I had to have one? I would go for popcorn popped on the stove in olive oil, or coconut oil. Or maybe chips and salsa - but I would count out those chips and only have the portion as listed on the side of the bag. Or maybe some grapes - fresh or frozen, I like both.
Midnight - I have been asleep for hours now. Soundly. Without heartburn, and according to recent inquiries of friends, I apparently don't snore anymore either! Thank God for that, because snoring was always something I got teased a lot about.
My average daily calorie intake now is somewhere around 2000 calories, and I eat a LOT more food now than I used to.


You will notice that I don't have a whole lot of vegetables in my ideal day, and I am working on that. I definitely tend to gravitate towards fruit more than vegetables...and that isn't "ideal" but both are still miles better than chocolate. So I'm okay with this. For now. There is always room for improvement.


When I started out a year ago, I was short of breath walking even the shortest distance, my knee was constantly achy, and I had heartburn All. The. Time.
I never told anyone about these things, because I was embarrassed and ashamed of what I was doing to myself. I had control over what I was doing, and I was doing it anyways.


My Top 12 best tips are these:
1. Eat a balanced breakfast. As soon as you are able after waking up. I have brought my breakfast time up to about an hour, versus the 4 hours I used to wait for breakfast.
2. Drink lots of water. I drink approximately 3-4 litres per day - which is 12-16 glasses.
3. Move your ass. Go for a walk. Get in the pool. Ride a bike. Do whatever you are able to do at first, and increase the intensity, variety and length of time as you become more able.
4. Surround yourself with the people who will take you where you want to go. If you have lazy friends who overeat, you will stay lazy and continue to overeat. Make yourself accountable to at least one person...someone you trust, someone who will only encourage and support you. The rest can go find someone else to play with.
5. If you are going out to eat - because we still have lives to live - go online first and research the restaurants nutritional information. Choose before you get there, and you are much less likely to sway from that decision.
6. Treat yourself to a "cheat" meal a week. Mine has always been on Thursday nights. My "cheat" isn't outrageous though. I usually go for shawarma (google it if you don't know what it is) or Subway = yum!
7. Cut out diet pop. Yes, it is "calorie free", but it isn't free from poisonous aspartame which is something I am trying to move away from more and more these days. It isn't easy because this stuff is everywhere, but it can be drastically cut back. Newsflash: your body doesn't know what to do with aspartame the same way it knows how to properly process natural ingestables. You may have heard this incredible tidbit of info somewhere before, but I will repeat it again for you now: Drink. Water.
8. Eat more often. And try to have a wee bit of protein each time you do eat. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, supper....maybe a night time snack.
9. MEASURE! AND! WEIGH! your food. How the heck are you supposed to know that you are eating 1 ounce of cheese if you don't weigh it? Or 1/2 cup of blueberries if you don't measure it out? Get yourself a digital food scale. And use it. For everything.
10. Sit down and really dig deep. Examine the reasons why you were turning to food for comfort and solace in the first place. Go find yourself a good therapist or life coach, or turn to a close and very honest friend to help you with this one. If you don't figure it out, the odds are stacked against you, and you will more than likely revert back to your old habits.
11. Go online and sign up for weight loss forums. Subscribe to their daily newsletter, and read the articles and stories that they send you for inspiration and information. Knowledge is power. Use it. (sparkpeople.com/jillianmichaels.com/caloriecount.com)
12. Take pictures of yourself along the way. We often have NO idea what we really look like, and no idea where we fit in, literally. So if you are not a poser like me who gets her picture taken all the time, stand in a doorway and take pictures from all angles. And use that same doorway to document your progress.

There is 1 specific girl in Newfoundland who I hope is reading this. And I hope that I somehow inspire her to make changes in her life for the better. I think about you often, and hope you are doing well. PK, This one is especially for you. Because you asked.

I hope that you are having an awesome day!

I am not like most Girlz...

At least, I don't think I am. Sure, I am a total girly-girl, and I like the usual primp n' pretty products found at your local Sephora and Shoppers Drug Mart. And of course I am prone to the occasional emotional outburst or fit of tears over a lost scarf, chick-flick, or long distance telephone commercial.
I love babies, puppies, and taking care of people.
I love cuddling, being called 'Princess', and kisses on the forehead.
I need to feel like my partner is genuinely attracted to me exactly as I am in order for him to reap those 'rewards'.

I am not however, one of those girls who falls in love everyday and twice on Sundays.
I don't fall in love easily, I don't give it up quickly if we are getting emotionally involved, and I do not want to meet your mom/friends/kids right away.
I am independant, self-sufficient and able to spend time alone.
I love children, but my biological clock isn't keeping me awake at night, and I am not looking to snag a husband in 6 weeks or less.
In order for me to commit to someone, I need to know them. And I need to let them know me. You know, the skeletons, childhood, my whole life story, and the stuff that really makes me tick. (Truth be told, I have never had an easy time with this, but I'm workin' on it.)

I also need to trust the men I let into my life, and I need to feel emotionally safe with them.
And what do all these things require?!? Time, folks. Nothin' but time. And maybe a dash of patience as well.
And this seems to confuse the men in my life. Hahaha... wait. Let me clarify that statement.
I do not have men beating down the door, but when I do occasionally date a guy, this truly seems to confuse the hell out of them.

Why am I going so slowly? Why am I not looking to book a date with them every single Friday and Saturday night? Why don't I call them all. the. time.? Why don't I want to meet their kids on the 3rd or 4th date? Why am I not introducing them to my friends right away? In fact, why am I not telling my friends about them at all?

Sadly, I believe that in today's day and age - all fast paced and internet based - nobody seems to want to take the time to get to know each other anymore. People don't want to take the time to make something out of nothing - which then makes it worth telling friends about, might I add.

With the vast majority of women out there looking to pop out a few babies and walk down the aisle in turbo speed and then a girl like me comes along - a girl who is looking to break down the walls (we all tend to have) before handing over my heart on a silver platter - people don't know how to navigate that.

In the simplest terms: I am not like most girls, just a girl in the slow lane folks.

I hope that you are having an awesome day!

What's your purpose?

Do you ever have morbid fantasies? Like what your funeral would be like? Who would be there? What would they say about you? In the big picture, what is your purpose here on earth? Don't we all have one? Shouldn't we? What do you want to be remembered for? A legacy, so to speak....

Without a doubt, I know that some of you were placed here to be moms, and some of you were placed here to be friends, and some of us were placed here to share our energy and our stories to help others. I am starting to think that the last one might be part of the reason why I am here.

While I have never really examined it, I have definitely noticed that people seem to feel very comfortable around me, sharing their painful pasts and deepest secrets, even after only knowing me a short time.

Knowing how hard it is for me to fully open up and expose myself to people - something I rarely do - I am always honoured when they trust me enough to watch their children, take care of their homes, and carry their life burdens with them.

And I am beyond flattered by the number of emails and comments I have received in the past few months from close friends, and even people I don't know all that well, telling me what having me in their life has meant for them and how I am inspiring them.

This humbles me. I am more than happy to share my energy, story, and insights with anyone and everyone. And I really haven't exposed that much of myself here (I may never be brave enough to tell-all), but I am digging and questioning and uncovering...and I am usually doing it with a smile on my face. I love knowing that even one person has shed light into their own dark corners because of something I have said. I haven't changed the world, but that feels like purpose enough to me.

How do you want to be remembered?

Have an awesome day!

Optical Illusions and Water Retention.

I cannot even tell you how many people remarked that I "look taller" during my trip back home to Newfoundland. "Wow. You're tall!" or "Jesus, did you grow?"
Obviously, at 33 years old, the likelihood that my height changed in the last year, is slim to nil. The difference now, can only be explained by my decreased body width. The illusion being that the less round I am, the taller I look.

And funny enough, I actually feel a little bit taller. Maybe I am wearing heels more often, or maybe it is because Trainer Mike is constantly telling me to put my shoulders back, but I do feel that I am walking taller these days.

Being home on Da Rock was extraordinarily busy, and incredibly indulgent. I started out the week with some Mary's Brown's, and finished it off with Fin n' Feather from The Big R. In between, I had mudder's turkey dinner, Nanny's macaroni and cheese, LH's sesame bat wings and deadly garlicky Caesar salad, Air's spaghetti and somewhere in the vicinity of a dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies. I cannot even begin to properly describe the water retention I experienced from all the sodium goodness. Yum!

I brought my gym clothes, but I didn't work out once. Let's add that to my endless list of lessons learned, eh? Clearly I have good intentions when I set off on holidays, but somehow I never manage to make use of the sports bras, yoga pants and sneakers I haul along in my overstuffed suitcase.

And despite the abundant salty deliciousness, and the lack of sweatin' to the oldies, I don't feel one single ounce of guilt. I still have a life to live. I work hard all year, and when I go home to Newfoundland, or on any other holiday, I deserve a break. I don't deserve the right to go to absolute hell with the indulgence, but I have definitely earned the right to stop counting calories for a few days and not be so consumed with the calorie in - calorie out process.

Nobody had seen me in person in over a year so I got more shocked looks and comments than you can shake a stick at. And it was really nice to hear. I have a darling friend who is expanding her portfolio for make-up and hair, and she hooked up with a photographer looking to expand his portfolio from scenery to people - so the picture above is from our "photo shoot" - a whole day of me feeling dolled up and glamorous.
It was just what I needed.

And now, because a few of you have asked - The Flight. Without the need for the damned extender seat belt! It was amazing. Honestly. To sit in the seat comfortably, and to even be able to cross my legs!?!? That was an absolute first for me. And it. was. awesome. Where I normally would have been overheated and uncomfortable, I was just like every other standard sized traveler with a kink in my neck and earphones in my ears.

Overall, my trip home was insanely busy, and absolutely fantastic. I still missed seeing a few people, but learned yet another valuable lesson - no more 6 day trips. Forget it. Next time, I will be home for 10 days, minimum. Maybe 16 days maximum.

And maybe some folks from Da Rock can come visit me! Now there's an idea.....

I hope that you all have an awesome day!

Homeward Bound.

I am flying home to Newfoundland today. And I have to confess that I actually have mixed feelings about this trip.

I am excited beyond measure to meet my best girlfriends new wee bebes, but I am nervous about how things will go with my mom.

I am hoping to be able to stick to a somewhat healthy eating regime, but I am so excited to have some of my all-time favourite home cooked foods like toutons and salt beef:
http://www.suite101.com/content/toutons-made-by-frying-bread-dough-a90076 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salt-cured_meat.

I want to work out, and I need to relax.

I want to look pretty, but I am dying to get the wind in my hair!

I want to see all my friends and family, but I don't want to kill myself making the rounds between homes and dinner dates. (side note: it sure would be helpful if my mom was able to maintain a friendship/relationship with her parents and the people we used to mutually share as friends so that I could do more group activities)

One of the better things about this trip though, will surely be the flight! If you recall, I stole a seatbelt extender from Air Canada a few years ago to ease the stress of traveling as an overweight passenger...but I also haven't flown anywhere in about 55 or 60 pounds!
There is no way I will need an extender belt this time, and I cannot wait to check out how traveling feels without 105 excess pounds on my frame.

http://1qtnewf.blogspot.com/2010/07/thank-you-air-canada.html

I am toying with the idea of returning it to Air Canada today when I check in. Maybe with a little bow wrapped around it? And a card with the link to the blog post above?
I can't decide. Do it on the way to Newfoundland? Or on the way back? Or not at all? Maybe write a letter to the CEO of Air Canada and thank him for the loan of his parts?
Anybody care to give feedback on this one?

Anyways, I can't wait to get home. One of the very best things about arriving in Newfoundland is the first breath of air you take when you get outside. It is usually fresh and crisp, with a hint of salt water. And it welcomes you in like a warm blanket, despite the cool temperatures.
I love Ottawa, but I cannot wait to go home...

I hope that you are having an awesome day!