Living First.

Today marks the day I ran my first ever 10km.

In just slightly less than my NCC Race Day goal of 80 minutes.

I found myself alone amongst my running room group today - which is precisely how I like it, actually. My ideal running conditions are between 15 and 20 degrees, sunny, music playing in one ear, my consistent breathing in the other, alone but with other people beside me - Feather being my #1 running partner.

I can talk if I choose to, but I mostly don't. I let my mind wander from trivial to heavy and back again...

Today, I started to think back over all the years I have been alive, without really LIVING. 

Had you met me back then, you would have seen a strong, funny, lovable girl...and you probably would have adored me, like most people seem to. But you would not have really seen me. I wouldn't have let you. Because way deep down inside, behind the bright dimpled smile, the hilarious jokes (if I do say so myself) and undeniable strength, lay a girl who felt like she was nothing, nobody, incapable, and simply not good enough.

I remember exactly when the switch got flicked for me.
The moment I decided to stop abandoning myself.

And I am so ridiculously thankful that it did. If I could, I would bottle and sell that moment. Or this feeling.

Because everybody dies, but not everybody LIVES.

I am so happy to be walking and running amongst the living now.

I have experienced a flood of emotions today, laced with ample gratitude for everything and everyone I have in my life. I love love love you all!

Have an awesome day!
xoxox
~Jenn