Friday, March 9, 2012
This letter really has been a long time coming. Maybe it is something you should have written a long time ago. Ummmm....except you have really only learned most of these lessons in the last few years. Which is better late than never, and thankfully sooner than many people learn these same things, I suppose.
Consider this a gentle, realistic reminder that you are on the right path...a love letter, of sorts. To you, with love from me. Forever. And ever.
Jennifer, it really is time that you started focusing on your best and most positive qualities, and even your best physical features. When you look in the mirror, stop! focusing on every lump, bump and squishy bit that you hate. Instead, focus on how strong you are and embrace your new found curves. Be thankful for your pretty blue eyes, well manicured hands, and magical hair. You struggle with this concept more than anyone could know, buuuut *gulp*..........you are beautiful. Believe it. Period.
After all the years that you have spent beating yourself up, convincing yourself that you are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, funny enough, or lovable enough, the signs are all around you that absolutely none of these things are true.
You are enough. Everything that you need, you already have.
In the spirit of taking your own stellar never-ending-advice-for-others, you need to write down the best words that people have used to describe you, and never forget them. On the days you feel low - the days that have the potential to take you down - try really really hard to see yourself the way others see you.....funny, sexy, beautiful, loving, strong, generous, pretty, kind, good listener, friend, capable, talented, curvy, warm, honest, challenging, smart cookie, awesome, inspirational.
Think of all the positive things that you do in your everyday life: Laughing, loving, kissing, smooching, hugging, caring, teaching, smiling, listening, coaching, inspiring, learning, growing, leading, squeezing, cheek-chewing, singing, dancing, forgiving and changing.
Think to the professionals that you have in your life who refer to you! as athletic. It is time that you stopped thinking that athleticism can be entirely defined by waist size. And even if society doesn't agree? It is really time that you stopped measuring your self worth against their standards and definitions for even a fraction of a second. Just stop. We both know that your time is much better spent elsewhere. You just concentrate on being happy, thankful, and driven. The rest will fall into place.
There are countless people who love you. Right now. Exactly as you are! They don't limit their love, reliability, or loyalty based on what the scale or the tag on your jeans says. They don't see your flaws in the same blinding light you see them. They will not ever turn their backs on you if you never lose another pound. Feel this in your heart, and let it sink deeply into your stubborn head. These amazing people will still be beside you and rooting for you every step of the way. They love you, and that love is unconditional. They aren't going anywhere, and none of them will ever abandon you. As hard as it might be, you need to trust this.
Deep rooted negative beliefs and fears held you captive for a very long time, and still come back to visit every now and then...but you now know that you can kick life's ass when you put your mind to it. When you focus on your goals and do the work, you know that you can do ANYTHING and anyone who regards your strength as a negative trait isn't worthy of you.
Be proud that you are someone who challenges life, instead of being the kind of person who coasts through - never changing for the better. Be proud that you are no longer someone who plays the victim, or only feels valued when she is invited somewhere and has a full social calendar. Be proud of your ability to help others, and inspire them to live their own great life. Being a catalyst for change in someone's life, is an amazing gift.
Stand up for yourself, you are not a doormat. Draw boundaries wherever you are comfortable - they are for you, and you don't owe explanations to anyone else about them. You have nothing to be ashamed of...you own your mistakes, and have turned every one of them in to lessons. Know that you have come a long way, and that you have grown into someone you should be proud of.
You are loved. You are lovable. You are beautiful.
Don't ever forget it.