Monday, September 16, 2013
I eluded to it in my last post....and maybe a little bit on The Twitter a few weeks ago, but here it is officially:
18 years to the day after I started, I quit my job.
Actually, since my new job is so much like my old job, maybe that isn't very accurate. Perhaps I didn't quit the job as much as I quit the company? or my boss?
That seems more accurate.
I am a girl who can, for the most part, roll with the punches.
Like when this happened....never mind how completely ignored and demoralized I was after that point - expected to just suck it up, keep smiling, continue showing up, and remain comfortably in place over the corporate barrel. "Yes sir, may I have another?"
Aside from the massive pay cut and subsequent lifestyle change, the worst part about that event was the colleagues who I thought were friends suddenly vanished, and my manager at the time (who I was quite close with) - never spoke to me again. I have since come to believe that his lack of actions at the time say more about him than I ever could.
And even though I had been made to feel pretty slow and stupid since I was forced into a new position, I really could have stayed where I was... in a place of complacency and acceptance. Golden handcuffs securely locked in place. Not entirely happy, not entirely miserable, either.
I think a lot of people are in that same place in their jobs, wherever they may work.
That dull and lifeless placed call Limbo.
Or maybe the more fitting word in many cases would be Purgatory.
Thing is, and it took me a long time to figure this out....I am not a bad employee.
I am not a bad person.
I'm not stupid.
And there really are only so many times a person can handle being treated sub-human.
Only so many threats you'll let roll off your back.
And only so many metaphorical punches a person can take.
No matter the situation or circumstance, if you're in a negative and toxic place, you'll move when it gets too painful to keep standing there.
Deep down, I knew I wasn't in the right place. I had known for quite some time.
I could feel it in my heart.
And I could feel it in my pants as they became too tight again.
With every stressful day, snide remark, and accusation, I reached for the chocolate covered almonds. I'm not happy or proud of myself for being unable to cope, but it also wasn't my fault that I didn't have the resources or support to help me deal with it, either.
Which is where the new job comes into play.
They. Came. Looking. For. Me. *insert slowly growing confidence here*
Thanks to old fashioned good timing, connections, and shared frustrations, an old friend reached out and threw me a lifeline a few months ago.
I grabbed it, without really even thinking about the massive shift this would bring to my life. I would have been a fool not to make the move. Change is good, after all.
As scary as it was, I decided to be brave and do what was best for my emotional well being, my family and myself - naysayers and gossip bags be damned!
I'd be lying if I didn't admit that part of the decision was about better offers and more opportunity...but the other part was about needing to work in a place where respect was mutual, trust was not a lost concept, H.R. is on top of their game, and people actually say Good Morning! After they hold open the door for me. Like, whoa.
It's a whole new world, and I'm so happy!